Bad Mom, No Cookie!

Have you ever had one of those days where everything goes wrong? Where no matter what you do or how you try to make things run smoothly, you fail spectacularly at everything? One of those days when you actively wish for a reset button or a really big mallet to knock yourself out so you can just sleep until tomorrow? Yeah. Today was a little like that.

To be fair, it really wasn’t the whole day. Most of the day went pretty smoothly (probably because I had a meeting, so wasn’t in charge from about 7am to 3pm). However, once 3pm hit, things quickly began unraveling.

Mistake #1 – I went to the bathroom. It seems pretty innocent, right? I mean, the doors were locked, the living room is child proofed, and two minutes is pretty quick, right? No. No, it’s not. Do you know how much trouble an 18 month old can get into for the two minutes it takes his mom to use the restroom? I came out of the bathroom to a suspicious quiet. Hearing a noise, I looked out the back window to see my son (who I suddenly recalled had recently developed a fascination with the doggy door) standing in the back yard covered in mud from head to toe.

Mistake #2 – I took him directly to the bathroom to put him in the tub. I figured I could strip him down on the tile floor and plop him in the bath. Bad idea. Apparently falling in mud puddles causes boys to have a dirty diaper. I have three older girls, so I wasn’t aware of this little quirk. Needless to say, wiggly boy + muddy clothes + muddy shoes + dirty diaper = DISGUSTING bathroom.

Mistake #3 – I took the boy to get dressed before cleaning the bathroom up. As I was drying, diapering and clothing the now clean child, the four-year old screamed from the hallway, “Mom! Davey is eating Calvin’s dirty diaper! In my room!” Fortunately, Davey is a dog and not another kid. Unfortunately, Davey enjoys spreading his dirty diapers out all over the place when he eats them.

Mistake #4 – I don’t keep cleaning supplies in the upstairs bathroom. That seems like a smart move, right? After all, kids and cleaning supplies usually don’t mix. However, when you’ve already dealt with a dirty diaper covered in dog slobber, ripped up, and spread all over your daughter’s room, the very last thing you want to do is go downstairs to grab the bathroom cleaner. So do you know what you end up doing? Wiping up all of the mud and other stuff with the already dirty clothes piled on the floor, then throwing that stuff in the trash.

So here I am. 5:00 on a Tuesday. I’ve decided the day is officially over, and I’m no longer participating in it. I have my pajamas on, I kept the four year old home from gymnastics because I just COULD NOT face getting out of the house, and the children are running wild. Dinner will be pizza and cookies. I may even let the kids have more than one so I don’t have to sneak extra when their backs are turned.