Sometimes they make you laugh, sometimes they make you think, and sometimes they make you go….umm…what? Whatever they are saying, it ALWAYS keeps you on your toes.
That time I tried not to laugh when disciplining, but failed.
Layla: Mom, Sydney called me booty pants.
Me: Ok. Did that hurt your feelings?
Me: Sydney, you hurt Layla’s feelings.
Sydney: I’m ok with that.
Me: Gwen, stop drawing all over the bible. Gwendolyn: But God told me to.
Me: No, he didn’t
Gwendolyn: Yes, he did. (In a deep voice) Gwendolyn, draw in the bible. (Switches to normal voice) See, he told me to.
Me: *face palm*
Me: Scoot over here so I can rinse the shampoo from your hair.
Sydney: Just so you know, I have lost control of my body. So if I start doing the hokey pokey, it’s not my fault.
Layla: I’m not saying I don’t like the rice, dad, I’m just saying there’s not much flavor.
Sydney: Yeah. I’m not saying I don’t like the rice, dad, I’m just saying it’s kind of…uh…yuck. And it looks like poop.
Sydney: You know when you come in after a long day and see a big mess?
Sydney: That wasn’t us.
Me: Who was it then?
Sydney: I don’t know, maybe a bad guy. Or a ghost. Definitely a stranger.
That time I realized I never really have control of the conversation.
Layla: People in England speak the same language we do, but it’s in a different font.
Sydney: What’s J plus G?
Sydney: Don’t be silly, Dad, it’s a yes or no question.
Layla: Are you getting new stuff for the house?
Me: That will cost more money.
Layla: Go to the dollar store and get some dollars.
Aaron: What happened?
Layla: Uhh, nothing you need to worry about.
Me: Oh yeah. I’m definitely not worried now.
Layla: A friend in my class, Annabelle, has a twin. They have the same shoes and wear the same outfits.
Me: Do they look the same?
Layla: No, Sophia has the wrong face.
Layla: You smell like red neck and old fart.
That time I realized I wasn’t the smartest one in the room.
Me: How was your day at school?
Sydney: My friend got a little mad at me on the bus.
Sydney: He just doesn’t understand you can’t always get what you want.
Gwendolyn just asked me what unicorns ate. I told her sugar cookies. I didn’t know 3 year olds could do the “you’re an idiot” look with so much passion.
Syd: Someone made fun of my shirt today. They said it was stupid and I am stupid.
Me: Did you punch them in the face?
Syd: No. I stayed calm, and said, “I don’t care, I like this shirt.”
Me. Oh….yeah, that was probably a better response.
At the bus stop this morning:
Sydney: That girl still doesn’t like me. She glares and says she hates me.
Layla: She does that to me, too.
Aaron: When people do that to me, do you know what I do? I smile and wink at them. It’s like I’m saying, “Come at me, bro.”
Aaron: Did you see that girl? Was she mean?
Aaron: Did you say, “Come at me, bro”?
Layla: No, I said, “Jesus loves you.”