Kids Humor,  Parenting Humor

A Day in the Life of a Birthday Girl


This is Gwendolyn, AKA Gwen, AKA G-Dubs. She’s five today. I’m not exactly sure how it happened since I’m fairly certain she was two last week, but since she assures me she really is five “almost six” today, I suppose I’ll believe her.

I read an article a few years ago that said you should never label your kids – you know, “this is the smart one, or the athletic one, or the funny one” – because those sorts of things get stuck in them and on them, limiting who they are meant to be. We try pretty hard to keep to that in general with our kids, but when you have a child that answers to Blondstrosity and argues that she’s the Dingleberry when Daddy yells for Dingleberry, Fizz and Short Stack (he doesn’t really like to use names), it’s easy to get an idea of just what kind of personality she has.

In case you are considering having kids, or you still have young kids, or need to remember what it’s like to have kids or be a kid, I thought I’d give a little glimpse into the birthday shenanigans of our five “almost six” year old.

Gwen: Mom, is it my birthday?

Me: Gwen, it’s 2:30 in the morning.

Gwen: So, it is!

Me: Go back to bed.


Gwen: Did Aunt Sarah bring donuts yet?

Me: No, it’s only 6:15. Go back upstairs.

Gwen: Don’t let anyone eat my coconut one!


Gwen: *sigh*

Aaron: What’s wrong?

Gwen: I’ve been waiting and waiting and no one has called me for my birthday yet.

Aaron: It’s only 7:30 in the morning. Give them time to wake up first.


Gwen: Can I wear your makeup, it’s my birthday.

Gwen: Did Daddy call because it’s my birthday?

Gwen: Can I wear your earrings, it’s my birthday.

Gwen: Why do my sissies have to go to school on my birthday?

on a truck

Gwen: Can we go get a snow cone now for my birthday?

Me: After lunch we will.

Gwen: Can we eat lunch now?

Me: It’s only 9:30. Lunch isn’t for a while yet.

Gwen:…Can we eat an early lunch?


Me: Ok, pick out the cake you want….white or chocolate icing…now you can choose your sprinkles.

Gwen: I want these rainbow sprinkles…no, wait! I want eyeballs on my cake.

Me: Are you trying to be creepy?

eyeball cake

I’m not sure what the next year will bring for our Gwendolyn, but I have no doubt that it will be as unique and original as she is.

Happy Birthday sweet girl, thanks for bringing so much fun to our lives!

Sandra Samoska is a writer with a love for Jesus and a love for family. When she's not chasing around her four kids and doing all the things, you can find her writing about the ways God shows up in our every day lives.

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