To My Youngest Child
Dear Baby of the Family,
You’re my youngest child, the last baby I’ll ever have, and the one thing that was missing from this family all of these years. You get the benefit of all of our experience with your older siblings, the relaxation of rules, and a playroom full of used toys.
Sometimes I’m not sure if I should feel bad for your place in the pecking order or congratulate you for being the one least likely to get in trouble. However, as you get older, I feel like there are a few things I need to apologize for.
I’m sorry for the time I pushed you down when you started to crawl. I knew what was coming and I wasn’t quite ready for it.
I’m sorry that we have a cabinet full of pink cups, purple bowls and flowered plates since you’re the only boy and we’re too cheap to replace everything now.
I’m sorry for squeezing you a little too tight and crying that time you gave me a kiss without me asking. Mamas get a little emotional sometimes.
I’m sorry you never get new clothes since all of our friends and family have already had boys, and hand-me-downs are much more cost-effective and earth-friendly than always buying new. (I’m also sorry they all have other people’s initials on them…)
I’m sorry I don’t take you to the park as much as I did your older sisters – I’m pretty parked out. Luckily you seem to like our back yard just fine.
I’m sorry I keep arranging your hot wheels by color instead of playing crash, like you would rather. (Although that may be an anal “me” thing instead of a youngest child thing.)
I’m sorry for that time you fell and scraped your knee and I didn’t immediately rush over with a hug and a band aid. We’ve learned that sometimes it’s better to not react and just let you shake it off.
I’m sorry if I rock you just a little too long at bedtime. I know these days are numbered and you’ll be too big to fit on my lap soon.
I’m sorry your older siblings don’t like the way you play Godzilla with their Barbie houses and are always shutting you out of their rooms.
I’m sorry I don’t allow play-doh or glitter in the house anymore. I blame your sisters, so take it up with them.
I’m sorry I seem to forget your name every now and then, and instead call you by your sibling’s, dad’s or the dog’s names.
Most of the time I find so much joy in the way you’re growing, learning and developing. I love how your personality is emerging, so distinct from your sibling’s but with little hints of them in you. I love watching you discover new things and try new stunts. But it’s all a little bittersweet since every time you move onto the next step I know that’s the last time I’ll get to be in the previous one.
So keep growing, keep doing and keep learning. Just give your mama a bit of a break now and then when she holds you just a little too long or hugs you just a little too tight.
Love,
Your Mom
Sandra
Sandra Samoska is a writer with a love for Jesus and a love for family. When she's not chasing around her four kids and doing all the things, you can find her writing about the ways God shows up in our every day lives.
26 Comments
rgemom
What a beautiful, heartfelt post! And oh so true – especially that pushing him down when he started to crawl thing. Pretty sure I did that with my youngest too. Hah!
Outnumbered
Thank you so much! Yes, I’ve talked to a number of moms who did something similar. It’s hard to watch that last one grow!
jrdnjenkins
This was awesome. I totally want to stop my baby from lifting her head, rolling over, all of the things I was cheering for my oldest to do.
Outnumbered
Thanks! It’s hard, right? Now that we know just how fast that baby stage disappears…
Jem
Beautiful!! I hope he gets to read it and appreciate it one day x
Outnumbered
Thank you 🙂 We keep a box of letters that we will give the kids when they turn 21. I’m pretty sure this will go in the box. Although I saw somewhere online recently that the new thing is to reserve an email address for your kids and send them pictures, quotes and letters as they grow – to be opened when they’re older.
Kylie
I’m not crying, you’re crying
Outnumbered
Too right. I’m definitely crying! 🙂
Zuzana
I love the story, or a letter you have written. You can make a little book out of it. I would definitely buy it for my daughter.
Outnumbered
That’s funny you should mention that, I had the same thought myself. Thanks for the encouragement!
jordyngalan
What a little cutie you have! He is one happy boy! What a sweet post.
Outnumbered
Thank you so much!
Dr. Elise Cohen Ho
I laughed at your comment about being too cheap to buy more bowls, etc. This is a terrific letter.
Outnumbered
Thank you! It’s absolutely true – the poor boy eats off of a Tinkerbell plate more often than his daddy would like.
kristin | life of stones
Awww this cracked me up and broke my heart at the same time 🙂 It’s so wonderfully bittersweet watching them grow!
Outnumbered
It really is – I never knew I could be so sad and so pleased all at the same time.Thanks!
Nancy
Ah, so sweet! I was the youngest of 3 so I can relate to all this. I also have 3, and I’m trying really hard to keep going to the park for my youngest.
Outnumbered
I think I spent the last decade of my life at the park! It’s so easy to just open the back door and let him run, but I agree, sometimes I have to make the effort. There’s nothing like watching that big smile when they make it down the big slide 🙂
Candice
My baby turns 10 this weekend! I tell him every day that he is not allowed to grow up any more!!
Outnumbered
I keep threatening to put a brick on my oldest’s head to make her stop growing – she will be taller than me, soon, and that’s just not right! Thanks for reading!
Char G.
I love your heart and the way you expressed what most of us moms have felt. Don’t worry, I’m convinced not having everything new develops a character in our children that far succeeds material things! I’m glad I found your blog today! Can’t wait to read more! Please feel free to linkup on trekkingthru.com
Outnumbered
Thank you so much! Yes, so true, I’ve learned that myself as I’ve seen the care they take with things when they realize a new one won’t be forthcoming if the one they have is misused. Thanks for reading 🙂
Rebekah Devall
So beautiful. I have a little brother who’s in this situation– so much younger than the rest of us, the little tag-along. 🙂 You touched me so much with this post. Thank you.
Commenting as part of my challenge: rebekahdevall.wordpress.com/challenge/
Outnumbered
Thank you for reading and for your comment! Good luck with your challenge 🙂
Emily Susanne
What a cutie pie! I’m the baby as well, but since my siblings are so much older than me and moved away, I often feel like an only child. The name confusion is real though 😂
Outnumbered
I’m embarrassed to admit I started confusing their names after #2 was born. Probably waaaay sooner than I should have!