20 Reasons My Toddler Hates Me

Ok, I know that seems pretty dramatic. I also know that when my two year old yells and throws himself on the floor to get away from me that he doesn’t really hate me. HOWEVER, when all I want to do is walk downstairs with him and he tries to push me back and says “stay!” it feels like less than love, you know? I’ve been doing some in depth observations to try to figure out why he is constantly reacting this way, and here is what I have come up with.

1. I opened his granola bar the wrong direction when he handed it to me.
2. One of the fruit snacks got stuck to the bottom of the package.
3. I wouldn’t let him jump from the top of the couch onto the dog’s back.
4. I made him lunch.
5. While playing cars, I touched the red car. Never ever touch the red car.
6. I made him get off the kitchen counter when he climbed up there to get to the candy bowl.
7. I said “no” to the fifth episode of Elmo.
8. His milk was too wet.
9. I took away the bat when he hit his sister with it. And the window. And the tv.
10. I flipped on the light switch without letting him try first.
11. When I tucked him in I didn’t cover his feet with his blanket.
12. The dog ate his lunch when he threw his plate on the floor.
13. I took away the sharpie.
14. I buckled him in his car seat.
15. I wiped his nose.
16. When he threw the ball in the air it came down and landed on his head.
17. I took the bunch of grapes he had grabbed from the refrigerator out of his hand, gave him a few in a bowl, then scolded him when he lost his temper and threw them at me.
18. I turned on the vacuum cleaner.
19. The throw rug got in the way of him dragging a chair to the counter with the cookie jar. And I wouldn’t move it out of the way for him.
20. I made him wear pants.

Please tell me I’m not alone here. Anyone else have a toddler that hates them?