a dad's perspective on having a lot of kids
Parenting Humor

8 Kids for 6 Days: A Dad’s Perspective (Day 5)

a dad's perspective on having a lot of kids

Captain’s log, Day 5, February 4th, year of our Lord 2018

The sun has risen and none of the young crew have awakened from their slumber.  The late night seems to have taken its toll.

Queen Matron has acquired a breakfast cake for the crew.  It was not prior knowledge, but X is a huge fan of cinnamon.  He said so, repeatedly.  There is no more cake.

Today we will take the entire crew to church.  Queen Matron and I are aware of the monumental task that we are facing.  It will require both catamarans.

Curly sang for the rain to go away the entire trip.  His single-minded fanaticism was remarkable.

People at church notice that our crew appears to have doubled in size.  We assure them that it has not actually doubled, it is just a temporary state-of-affairs.

When we returned, the crew were famished again.  Chicken Nuggets were the order of the day.  In a gross tactical error, the galley has also run out of ketchup.  Oh dear.

Having noticed a certain funky smell on the children, Queen Matron decreed today a bathing day.

I was to discover later that someone wrote “poop” in the steam on my bathroom mirror.

Tonight is a large sporting event.  I asked the crew if they were excited about the game; they are not.

Just as the game was about to kick off, X, Blondie, Curly, Spunky, and Spiff have decided that downstairs is the best place to play tag.  This is a catastrophe.  The TV volume cannot go loud enough.

The crew was very excited about dinner – chicken wings, potato skins, nachos, meatballs, and dip with bread.

The plain chips and the bread was all eaten.

Spiff asked to go potty.  Great news!  Maybe he is learning from the extra members.

He is not.  He meant to say he had already gone potty.  It was gross.  And disgusting.  And messy.

I think that having so many people in such close proximity is starting to wear on our young members.  As I am putting a new diaper on Spiff I overhear Spunky threaten Curly with a knife.  This would be less troubling if they didn’t have to remain together at the end of our time together.

During the evening prayers, X was thankful for the nachos and Curly asked God for 150 pieces of bread.

Bed time is not good.  Spunky is not sleepy.  When trying to get her to sleep for the third time, her temper flares.  She kicks me in the face.  Age appropriate punishment is administered.

In the end, for the sake of the sleep of the Kyd and Blondie, Spunky has to be relocated to new sleeping quarters.

If all goes according to plan, the new younglings should be returning to their previous lodgings soon.

Tomorrow is another day.

Check out Days 1, 2, 3 and 4.

Sandra Samoska is a writer with a love for Jesus and a love for family. When she's not chasing around her four kids and doing all the things, you can find her writing about the ways God shows up in our every day lives.

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